We are the wave

Activism

2011-12-12T09:23:00.002-05:00

For my activism project I made a pamphlet and a power point. A faculty member put a few copies of my pamphlet in the Oaks building. On December 7, 2011 at 9:00am I held a presentation in Founders rm 121. My goal was if at least 10 people show up for my presentation I will be happy and that will satisfy me. Well, exactly 10 people showed up. Within those 10 people were some very important people. The president of SCC came and the director of REACH. My presentation was about life after rape. It is possible to have a "normal life" after rape. I used my story as an example in my power point. I got up in front of these people and talked about my power point and told them my story. I was able to make my voice heard to some strangers about my story of life after rape. Now this is an amazing feeling. Knowing that this presentation was that important that the president of SCC and the director of REACH took time out of their schedule to come listen to me. I am very pleased on the outcome of it. Very positive comments. I really enjoyed doing my activism project. Thanks to Tishina for coming and supporting me. It really meant a lot. Thanks to the class and Julie for helping me tell my story and become a survivor. I can honestly say, I AM A SURVIVOR. Not a victim anymore. Thanks everyone!

Defining your Beauty Your Way

2011-12-08T20:24:00.002-05:00

This is a tattoo that appeared on L.A. Ink. The tattoo stands for the meaning of what beauty stands for. Frankenstein was an outcast, not very good looking, and so was his bride. In the picture you can see that the bride of Frankenstein was used to create a tattoo that represented a different kind of beauty. She is defined as a beauty queen, even though she does not look like the average woman. I love this tattoo and all it represents, it makes you rethink what the definition of beauty truly is.
For me, beauty is defined by being happy, and healthy. I am happy with my looks, and maybe there are some things I would like to change about my appearance, but for now I can live with that. Wearing glasses, not being a size two, having braces but a big smile to go with it is just a part of being human. Having your own definition of what beauty is too you, and about about yourself helps you understand that their is not just one definition of beauty.

Dating abuse

2011-12-07T22:25:00.001-05:00

Love is respect
I was watching the show teen mom, as I watched I was surprised to see a couple who was dating and the relationship contained abuse physical and emotional. Every time the two of them would fight, the GIRL would hit, kick, smack the GUY. This is not often heard of when talking about teen abuse. It is portrayed in movies, books, and TV that the guy in the relationship is the abuser, but for this couple the abuse was mainly on the man in the relationship. The man did not fight back but he did call the authorities.
Abuse can happen both ways, it is just say more in men then in woman, well that's what most people think. When you add kids to the mix it can complicate things. I have witnessed dating abuse, and I thought it was only a one way rode, but this new TV show called teen mom made me see it can happen both ways.
If abuse occurs, either by a woman or man, it needs to stop. The link above is a site to define abuse and how to reach out for help. It helped me, I hope it will help other girls like me. I also hope it helps guys as well, abuse is not just a one way rode.

Activism project (REACH)

2011-12-07T13:46:00.002-05:00

The activism project was really fun. I worked with julie on this and we had a great turn out in our setup. We did a bake sale kind of thing were people could come and donate money to REACH the baked goodds were free and many people donated! We had a great start and in the middle it slowed way down but by the end everything was gone and we had a nice donation to give to REACH! I enjoyed this project and i really like what REACH does for people everywhere. They give them a place to stay when thay have no where else to go and they help you out when no one else will, it is incredible!

The end

2011-12-07T13:42:00.002-05:00

The class is coming to an end and i am sad about that. i have really enjoyed it! Learning different things about everyone and coming together as a class. when i first came to this class i had no idea what to expect. I thought we were just going to larn about the history of women or something because i have never heard of this class. But as i think about it now it has become one of my favorites. To be able to learn about the lives of women and the things that they had to go through just for us to have the rights that we have now is unbelieveable. I think that every woman should consider taking a class like this to really unerstand some things!

Art

2011-12-07T13:40:00.002-05:00

In class we looked over the different types of art and how the society use to see the world. I really enjoyed looking at these pieces because they were so detailed and they showed things as being real instead of these fake people that we create. or like the body images were different they just didn't stick to everything being skinny the characters in the paintings had flaws and i really loved that!

Activism Project

2011-12-07T12:21:00.002-05:00

For our activism project me and Nicia decided that we would do ours about beauty. when we did our research we found out some very interesting information. Some women will spend $500 to $600 a year on their makeup. To me that is way to much a year on makeup. But some women will go over that amount too.
When we look in magazines, movies, TV, all we see is these beautiful women who are the size of my thigh. But in real life even they don't look like that and they know they what goes on when they are editing. These women are being degrated to nothing. If they have a little bit of fat on them its the nastiest thing ever and guys like their women looking like these big boobed, blond hair, and blue eyes. If they are lucky enough to find a girl like that then they most have barbie.
Barbie is another example that is causing a contraversy in the fashion world. Young girls play with barbies and when they see how she looks they all wanna look the same as barbie. When I think of beauty I think of all the indian women who are in my life. What does beauty mean to you. In the dictionary beauty is the combination of all the qualities of a person or thing that delight the senses and please the mind.
We made pamphlets to lay around in each building explaining what beauty truly is. Giving info on what people really think. In a questioner that we did, we asked females and males to give us their opinion on how girls should dress, and what do they think of those girls who don't dress to these standrads. Many think girls need to have nice hair, clean cut nails, skinny, between 5'4 to 5'9, and that they need to dress apporiate for public (meaning they want their girls to wearing clothes that reveil themselves a little. ) What kind of girl would dress like that for her boyfreind.
We think girls should dress they way they want and whatever makes them feel comfortable. When we read the female responses, they all said girls need to be presentable in public but shoud wear what makes them comfortable.
Our main goal was to let the young girls who are just now figuring out the makeup thing, and let them know that they don't need any of that to make themselves feel pretty for anyone. Bascially our message is that if you feel pretty without the makeup then you are pretty without the makeup. If you feel pretty wearing makeup I'm sure you're pretty without the makeup. We don't need all this makeup piled on our faces to look pretty we are pretty without it. everyone is. I hope that in the future when girls are growing up they don't feel the need to buy piles and piles of make to feel pretty. Our beauty comes out from the inside, and we all need to realize that.

Longing For Daddy

2011-12-07T11:45:00.003-05:00

When I was little having loving parents was the dream. Mom and dad both taking care of me and my brother, but as we grew up all I can remember is them fighting. It was something different every time they fought. It really bugged me and I know it hurt my mother all the time when they fought. I can remember clearly one night my mom and dad fought, and my brother wasn't that old, but the fight was so bad my mom packed her some clothes and my brothers and took off. I went to bed that night and when I woke up to go to the bathroom I found my mom and brother sleeping in my room. As we grew up the fighting died down and they got a long really well.

Well when I made it to the ninth grade I got a job working at a restaurant and I can remember my mom telling me later that night that her and my dad had got into it. It really upset me when she would tell me about them fighting again. Apparently my father thought he could have his cake and eat it to. When I found out what was really going on I thought I had the worst father in the world. Another year passed and things just got more complicated. My mom started making my dad sleep on the couch and he would just have to get the clothes he had that were clean and wear them to work. One night I remember going to bed and then all of a sudden I hear a loud noise. The next night they fought again and I just got so tired of it that I would up moving out.

These past few years my momma has stayed strong even though everyday is a challenge for her. Even after everything I have put her through. Even when I wound up in court with my dads girlfriend she stayed right there with me and stayed strong. My mom tries to make everything we do fun but it doesn't really help when I see other families out and their father is right there hanging out with them. It makes me wonder what my life would be like if my father was still in my life.

Thanks to my mom though I now know that I don't need a man in my life to make everything to better or worth wild. My mom has also taught me that if I keep my faith and just do everything I want to and keep my mind on it then I can get there. Yet there are those days when I need my father there for some advice that even my mom can't help me with. I love my mom she has taught me so much through out these few years, and I am very grateful. I do think though even though I have a ways to go, is my life going to turn out what I witnessed or is that all up to me? I know when I was in therapy I asked that same question. My therapist told me that a child who witnesses these kind of things, has a greater risk of ending up in an abusive relationship. I hope one day that I can prove my therapist wrong and show him that not everyone who comes from a background like that doesn't have to end up in an abusive relationship.

If it weren't for my mother showing me life can be some what easy without a man I wouldn't be who I am today. I really don't consider my self an activist but I really can see myself doing a lot without a man by my side.

Cosmetics Make Women Seem More Likable, Competent, Trustworthy and Attractive, Says Study - ABC News

2011-12-01T14:54:00.000-05:00

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/cosmetics-make-women-likable-competent-trustworthy-attractive-study/story?id=14659706

As part of my Activism project, I interviewed my Spanish instructor this morning and she told me about this story she read on ABC News's website.
This story tied into my project by showing how the outward appearance of women has an effect on daily things such as job interviews and how we are perceived to others. Participants (briefly) looked at pictures of women and rated their competence, likeability, attractiveness and truthworthiness.
The participants gave women that had more make up on a higher rating than the women with little to no make up on. HOWEVER, when the participants examined the photographs for a longer amount of time, the opinions they based their ratings on changed.
I was not very impressed with this study (partly because it was funded by Proctor & Gamble- um...which owns big cosmetic companies...)- however, what the study showed is true unfortunately: women do in fact get judged on our outward appearance.

One thing my instructor mentioned to me was that prior to coming to SCC, she had held a job with a Chilian Bank transferring huge amounts of money- she has a masters degree, so this was a fitting position for her. Once she became pregnant with her daughter, she moved to the U.S. to be closer to her family. When she began applying for jobs here (circa 1983), employers flat out refused to interview her for any type of management position (but offered her a secretial job...). After this, she began not including her first name on applications- which helped a little bit, but she still faced sexism.
Anyway, my instructor and I talked at great length regarding the pressures women feel every single day.
I learned that my Spanish instructor is an awesome lady that has overcome so many obstacles in her lifetime.
She said that she burned her bra in the 60's- and she feels that although our country has improved- that there is still so much more work that needs to be done in making things equal for all.
How true that is.

Here is an amazing video about gay marriage.

2011-12-01T13:36:00.009-05:00

The "Gay Marriage Ban"amendment is on North Carolina's ballot for May 2012. I encourage everyone to read up on this amendment before voting. I did a little research and the amendment sounds similarly limiting to the one voted for in South Carolina in 2007.

The amendment is redundant in that gay marriage is already illegal in NC. There is already no legal question of whether or not gays and lesbians can get married here! They can't, and it's no secret. Why put this bill into law then?

This amendment will impact straight couples as well: it has the potential to interfere with domestic violence laws, child custody situations, and estate/trusts. Heterosexual couples living together but not married, or involved in civil unions, may face challenges with child custody and domestic violence enforcement from the rigid way that this amendment will define marriage, and who can and can't benefit from the status of being married.

For me, the most offensive part of my research is a quote I found by one of our Senators, James Forrester, who was the sponsor of this bill. Senator Forrester recently passed away, so I won't freak out too much, but others obviously share his views.
He was quoted as saying, "Moms and dads are not interchangeable. Two dads don't make a mom. Two moms don’t make a dad. Children need both a father and a mother.”

This quote is a great representation of the kind of thinking that supports this bill, and it screams of sexism, stereotyping and discrimination! "Children need both a father and a mother," ??? What does this say about single parents, grandparents, or all the other people who raise children? If only a traditional nuclear family = successful children! Heck, many of us did have that typical family and still didn't turn out that great!

Supporters of this bill must not realize how many of North Carolina's families do not fit into his Leave it to Beaver model of a nuclear family as the only fit family to raise a child. Zach Wahls is the young man in the video, and he's here to tell us he's doing great, despite not having an "ideal" family.

The percentage of children in single parent households in our fine state is THIRTY SEVEN PERCENT! * Are all those parents unfit as well? Hopefully, this video will broaden some views about one of the MANY ways people can form a family.

Here is a link to all the Senators in North Carolina, and all of their contact information, in case you feel like sharing your thoughts with them ;)
http://www.ncleg.net/gascripts/members/memberList.pl?sChamber=Senate

* http://datacenter.kidscount.org/data/acrossstates/Rankings.aspx?ind=106

Activism Project

2011-11-30T19:23:00.002-05:00

I have finally found my activism project. I will doing my project on the long-term effects of rape. I am going to be making pamphlets in which a staff member from SCC would like to place in the plastic pamphlet holders in the Oaks building. I am also going to be forming a powerpoint and hopefully I will be able to draw a big enough crowd to the Balsam Center and have an event to inform people of the effects of rape. Also, I will inform people on rape, which has not been reported, may effect life after rape. Time and date is still to be scheduled for the powerpoint presentation.

2011-11-30T16:48:00.003-05:00

This image caught my eye during class today. We were going over feminist art, this is always a fun topic. I love seeing art done by woman, especially when the art is creating a message that is easy to relate to.
Barbara Kruger is the artist of this picture. The image stood out because of the message it is sending out. The message is that woman are sometimes looked at to be " not enough". Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not sexy enough, not silly enough, but enough is enough ladies.
Trying to be enough by another persons standards will only lead you into the wrong direction of defining who you are. Trying to be enough for someone else can be exhausting and have very little benefits, if not being enough means going to extremes trying to be enough for someone else, and not doing it for your self seems like the right thing, its not!
If you want to be more you should be doing so due to your own goals, it makes sense to want to expand who you are, it is a good thing to try new things, and be who you want to and do whatever you want. If you think you are funny enough, sexy enough, serious enough, then guess what you are. You are beucase it is your own measurements of what being enough is.

Domestic Violence Awareness

2011-11-29T08:54:00.006-05:00

I know Domestic Violence Month has already passed, but I would like to share this. How many people in this world have been abused- whether physical, emotional, sexually, or verbally? I can say that I am one person in the world that has been abused in every way imaginable. When it comes to domestic violence awareness month, I stay clear from everything that has to do with domestice violence. In high school we used to have police officers who would come in and talk to us about domestic violence. It wasn't until I got into the 10th grade when I would have to get up and leave the room. I would go to the bathroom and just have a major breakdown. I was one person that could not do anything right, no matter how hard I tried or what I done. At school I could smile and laugh, but no one knew it was to cover up all the tears I just wanted to let flow. All these types of abuse that I have been through within the 24 years I have been alive is just something I do not want others to go through. At the age of 14, I was beat until I was black and blue with anything my ex could get ahold of. I have had so many fractured bones in my body because I would get beat with a metal pole. He was smart enough to leave the bruises where I could hide them with my clothes. I never told anyone and I never pressed charges. At the age of 16, I began the trip down the path of verbal, and emotional abuse. At 16, mid-August, I became pregnant with my first daughter. This was very scary. I was young, but I was determined to take care of her. I gave birth to her in June of 2004. When I was 19 I became pregnant with my second daughter- it was rape. I said no, and I tried to push him off, but he was too strong. It took me back to the night I was in that ditch. I quit fighting and thought, "If I don't fight him, maybe it won't hurt as bad." Well, I was wrong. It hurt worse because now that was 2. I did stay with him. I was scared to leave him. I was scared for my babies. When I was 21, I became pregnant with my third and last child- this too, was rape. I went through this abuse for 7 years. I tried to do things right, I tried to make him happy, but nothing seemed to work. Finally, I had enough. I got the courage to leave him. In June of 2010, I finally recieved my divorce. We had been seperated for about 6 months prior to the divorce and I had found an amazing guy, with who I am still with. He made me feel important. He made me feel beautiful. He made me feel appreciated. My ex-husband wasn't so happy, and busted in my door at mid-night and he hit me and called me a bitch (as he always did). I wasn't going to take it, so I fought back. I ended up breaking his nose, busting both his lips, and shifting his cheek bone. No one knows about this either. I keep all my traumas inside. They are MY problems. I am afraid to let it out because I don't want to relive everything more than I need to. This is why Domestic Violence Month is so hard for me.

"When Rabbit Howls"

2011-11-28T19:48:00.000-05:00

I am currently reading an autobiographical book called "When Rabbit Howls" written by Truddi Case (with the assistance of Robert Phillips, Ph.D.).

Since we recently covered domestic violence and sex crimes, I wanted to share some the content of this book. I have been reading it for a few months now. Most books do not take me as long to read, however, this one contains disturbing and confusing content- so I've had to take a break quite often.

Anyway, this is book is told from the point of view of a sexual abuse victim, Truddi Chase. She was raped and abused by her stepfather as little girl. Her mother had known about the abuse and done nothing. As a way of coping with the horrible things that she lived thru, Chase began repressing the memories of the abuse. She developed multiple personalities- 92 of them to be exact.

Mental health is a big interest to me. I worked in a locked-down adult crisis inpatient unit, which is where my interest in mental health began. This book reminded of a client I had worked with before- and although my client didn’t suffer from dissociative personality disorder, she had been molested by her own father.

I think that this book shows how sexual abuse has lasting effects on any individual- the author of this book didn’t even tell her story until some 40 years later. As a child, she was told that the abuse was her own fault (as a two year old). This book was confusing to read since (depending on her mood and outside stresses) different personalities would “take-over” so to speak, so the reader isn’t always quite sure who is talking.

I would suggest this book to anyone that is interested in going into mental health, especially those interested in learning about personality disorder. As with many things we’ve talked about in class, I think that women seeking any kind of health services do not always get the type of assistance that they need. I think that the stereotypes on women lead some professionals to not take a woman’s complaints or concerns seriously. One of the more notable things I saw in this book was that Chase was referred to several people and places before she found a psychotherapist that not only discovered that she had multiple personalities, but that she had been abused as a small child. Had she found someone sooner, the healing process she underwent may have happened sooner.

This is a great book (from what I've read so far), and I highly recommend it.

Be A Force of Beauty

2011-11-28T18:56:00.005-05:00

Everyday in life and in some videos in class, these ad's come up about overusing beauty products to be accepted into the type of society portrayed by the media - in other words if you wear lipstick, you have to be a secretary, assistant, or runway model. Not true. The media is also portraying that if women wear these products it's only to be accepted into society and into a man's life and nothing more. Also, not true. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing make-up, fixing your hair, and dressing up but what IS wrong is how the media is advertising these products - to them you have to be a mindless sex doll to use any of what they're selling and that all you're good for are your looks and who cares about your thoughts or brain. What needs to be in beauty ad's is powerful women, who choose to wear heels or curl their hair or put on blush but also are goal-oriented and opinionated, wanting to make a difference. The stereotyping once again, needs to stop. One of my favorite things to do is fix my hair, put on some eye make up, dress head to toe in fashion but I do it for me and no one else...and I definitely don't let it influence me or change who I am. I can doll up but also won't think twice to flip off the guy whistling at me for how I look- it's for me, not them. I find make-up and hairstyles as a form of art and being a visualist, I love it. But I also love huntin and fishin, dirtbike racing and voicing every single opinion I have against anyone while wearing my mascara, hair fixed, and my nails painted. I had this post in mind for a while now, and it upset me that I couldn't find any beauty ad's that portrayed strong women not letting these products brainwash them into what the media SAYS they should be. Yesterday, I finally saw an add on tv by bareminerals about how you can wear their foundation, but that's not the beauty...beauty is what you do while wearing it. Below is the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMdV2l78piE&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL0EE3E3C7DBA32BB8

Activism Project - Domestic Violence Awareness

2011-11-28T18:48:00.004-05:00

On November 16th, Jessica and I did an activism project combined with fundraising for Domestic Violence Awareness. We went by REACH and picked up pamphlets to set out for our table, I made a fact poster along with other signs, Jessica made the donation box, and we both baked a variety of cookies, fudge, and brownies to give out for free for people coming by to talk with us and observe our table. We set up our table along with the Cherokee Arts Show in the Balsam Lobby. After setting everything out and having our table perfected, we were informed by someone in the office that in order to give out any sort of food it has to be individually wrapped. After taking a detour to Ingles and back, it was then 2:00 pm and our table was ready. Right away people started coming up and asking what organization this was for and we explained how we had facts and statistics on Domestic Violence, pamphlets from REACH and what they did, and that all donations collected were for REACH. Almost everyone who came up to get something to eat or say hello donated a dollar to five dollars. Our set up lasted until a little after 3:00 and in just over an hour we raised $48.38 for REACH. Many people, women and men thanked us for doing something like this and spreading awareness of it and that we were appreciated for our work and devotion to our project.

Is It A Boy? ...Or Girl?

2011-11-28T18:24:00.002-05:00

The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, "It's a girl." ~Shirley Chisholm

When I read this quote I right away thought of the birth of my baby niece. My sister and brother-in-law were both hoping for a boy and didn't know quite what to think when they found out it was going to be a girl instead - they weren't disappointed, just didn't exactly know how to turn a little girl onto dirtbikes, racing cars, tractors, and punk apparel. They went ahead and painted her room green which seemed odd to mostly all the family members since my sister and I both grew up in bright purple rooms. A few days after she was born and baby pictures were taken at the hospital, family members were also pissed when she was dressed in a skull onesie instead of a pink one with a bow clipped to her hair. Now that she is a year old my sister will post pictures of her "reading" race car books instead of princess books, and although she is wearing pink, people post on the pictures comments about how she's going to be a tomboy if they keep presenting her with these boyish toys and books. I guess they're hoping to change my sister's mind into smothering my niece in nothing but bubbles and pink lace but it just makes her fight agaist it even more. My niece will walk around with black converse on, a pink tutu, while holding a motorcycle toy and you'd be amazed at the estranged looks passed upon my one year old niece and her parents. But they just smile and go on. For Halloween we dressed her as a punk rocker with a skull hoodie pulled over her head with black leggings and black boots and while pushing her around in her green and blue stroller, I can't count how many times people would stop and say, "Aww..what's his name?" "How old is he?" "He's so cute!" I'd get pissed and promptly say, "SHE" but my sister and brother-in-law just laughed. During Thanksgiving, my two baby cousins came over and while playing with my niece, my aunt looked down at the scattered cars and tractors around her and said, "She(my cousin) has a tractor like that too..it's PINK." Pink with a very obvious emphasis on it. It shouldn't matter what color the damn tractor or car or bear or anything is. It's amazing how they don't let it get to them and that they let their daughter mix and match with toys and clothes without stereotyping because not many babies are raised like this, but sadly my niece seems to stand out among these other babies her age just because of a toy she is playing with, what she is dressed like or what color her car seat is. I love the way they are raising her because it is a fine example of fighting agaisnt sexism starting out in just newborns. And although it causes conflict and arouses "talk" they're proving a point that no matter if you have a boy or girl, they shouldn't be deprived of certain toys, books, tv shows,or clothes because of their gender - this is where the source of the problem is beginning...and needs changed.

Feminist Quotes

2011-11-28T18:22:00.001-05:00

This link is to a list of some awesome feminist quotes. :) (Not part of my 5 blogs)

http://www.quotegarden.com/feminism.html

Survivor

2011-11-22T09:57:00.004-05:00

This post is a little late. I just want to post that being called a "survivor" is not all it's cracked up to be. In reality, I am not a survivor. I am a victim and always will be. I must live up to what I done 11 years ago. And what happened to me 11 years ago is still with me. I have tried to block every aspect of it out of my mind but nothing seems to work. I still wake up with soaked sheets from sweating so much from a nightmare that I had of my attack. I still have to see one of my attackers because I now have 3 children by him and he gets them every other weekend. When I see him or even just hear his voice I get so sick to my stomach. I will only meet him at the police station for this very reason. Do you know how hard it is to let my kids go with him and how much I worry about them? It is very hard to let them go. When I got raped at the age of 13 I became pregnant by this monster. I then turned to drugs and induced myself into a miscarriage. I did not want to be reminded of what I went through with this nasty monster. Knowing there are resources out there to help me, I still refused to seek help. Now 11 years later I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. This disorder has been brought on by all my trauma in my life. I never thought I would let it control me again. But now I wake up every morning with this disorder and I relive everything all over again morning after morning. It is like a nightmare from hell that I cannot wake up from. Now I have to take 5 different types of medicine just to keep my day as normal as possible. Now does this seem like a survivor to you? I may have come out alive, but I am no survivor.

Cherokee Per Capita Payment

2011-11-17T13:43:00.004-05:00

I would like to retract my last comments. I realized that I hurt someone (or so many people). I did not mean to say these things. I am sorry for those I have hurt. I e-mailed my comments to our teacher so that she can see everything that I have written. ~Panda

Native American Women

2011-11-16T17:27:00.006-05:00

Since this month is Native American month my club decided to put on a program today November 16, 2011, and it involved dancing, guest speakers, artist, and singing. That's not what I am going to write about but I thought I mention what a good time everyone missed :) lol.
This is about my tribe the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians
Okay so in traditional ways when getting married the woman takes the mans last name right? of course but only if she wishes. In my culture, the woman may take the mans last name, the man takes the woman's clan. In my culture the clan is something you get from your mother. If you don't have a clan then really who are you? You are based one which clan you come from. when getting married the women have to go out of their own clan and marry into another clan but the man will become apart of her clan. The reason the women have to go outside of the clan is because if they didn't then that what would be consider incest and the punishment is death. But if you are born to a non-Indian mother then you have no clan but that doesn't mean you are not anybody that just means you don't have a clan.
Of course the woman is the one who stayed home and did the cooking but they also did more then just cook and make babies. They were the makers, they made pots for water, cooking. The made baskets for gathering food and carrying the baby while they worked.
In traditional ways/ and still today there are dances we do like the bear dance, the quail, beaver, buffalo, ant, and the friendship dance. All these dances were social dances for everyone. There are some dances that are meant for just the women and some that are just meant for the men. One of the dances that are for the men only is the warrior dance. The warrior dance is when the men are going to war and they are carrying weapons. The woman was never allowed to touch the men's weapons because the men took life, and the women gave life.
Its good to know that when the woman marries the man she now has a choice of taking the last name, but still the man is married into the clan of his wife along with their kids.
Native American women are strong women and getting stronger every day. I'm glad to say that I am Native American